Diary of a One year Old pt.2

Diary of a One year Old pt.2

So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I think the female servant, Mama Mama, has gone a little looney. And I don’t mean in an adorable Roger Rabbit kind of way. I think she may actually have lost her marbles.

The Evidence

Number One

There’s this toy that has appeared in the house. Looks like Pee Wee Herman in a red suit. Mama Mama calls him Elf. Weirdly, she keeps contorting his body in a number of poses, laughing hysterically, and taking photos of it. Like it’s a real life model or something. And I’m not allowed to touch him while she’s doing this. I mean, it’s a blumming toy Mama Mama, surely the whole point in it is for me to play with him. (I really want to see what his foot tastes like).

This has been going on for nearly two weeks now, and I see no signs of it stopping. Daddy doesn’t seem to have noticed, or he’s very good at simply ignoring what Mama Mama is doing.

It’s bizarre.

Elf on the shelf, pole dancng for toys, and earning chocolate coins
Ahem – Dancing for money

Number Two

You’re going to think I’m joking about this, but there is a TREE in our lounge. An ACTUAL TREE!! Which Mama Mama PUT THERE ON PURPOSE! If this doesn’t get you thinking that there is something seriously wrong, then I don’t know what will.

Not only did Mama Mama put the tree up, she decorated the blasted thing! There are lights all over it, and these dangly things called “BoarBulls”. I don’t know why they are called that, as they don’t look anything like a boar or a bull.

She keeps asking me if it’s pretty, and whether I like it or not. To be honest, I’m trying to ignore the flipping thing as it’s just peculiar.

Daddy just shrugged his shoulders over it.

A Christmas tree lit up in a living room
A tree, right where I get my nappy changed!

Number Three

Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol is everywhere. Mama Mama is now drinking “Irish Coffees”, and apparently all hot chocolates made now need to have a “dash of Baileys”.

She’s also making sure that others are drinking alcohol too by flavouring gin and vodka with cranberries and orange, and wrapping them up in the guise of gifts.

To be honest this last piece of evidence may go some way to explaining the first two pieces, and I think Daddy is trying to match her, drop for drop.

My Conclusion

My Mama Mama is losing the plot, and Daddy is an enabler. I’m going to try and ride it out and hope that this is just a short-lived problem. Just drink my milk, read my books, and play Old MacDonald on my keyboard (I’m note perfect every time.).

I’ll update you if anything else out of the norm happens . . .


29 thoughts on “Diary of a One year Old pt.2

  1. Here if you need me E. Only you should know I have tree in the house with boarbulls! But, the alcohol thing hasn’t hit yet and it’s an Elf free zone! Love Nanny. X

    Liked by 1 person

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